When Having It All Is Not Enough

We ask ourselves, “Do I have enough money, friends, education, a big enough house?”

We can all relate to experiencing anxiety stemming from the fear that what we have is not enough. We ask ourselves, “Do I have enough money, friends, education, a big enough house?”

For some, this feeling is a reality. True, there are many who struggle to support themselves on a daily basis. But for others, unrealistic fear that what they have is not enough is an emotionally debilitating problem.

This nagging feeling is often caused from profound feelings of inadequacy. Some fill this void by buying more materialistic items or by earning more professional accolades. But ultimately, the emptiness returns and what was accomplished or accumulated during that time is devalued.

Below are a few tips to help avoid this trap:

1. Set aside time to write a list of what you believe you don't have enough of and why.

2. Review each assumption and challenge yourself to imagine what you hope to accomplish from having more. The goal here is to develop realistic expectations of what you will accomplish from having more and how having more will improve your life. Having realistic expectations helps to create genuine and lasting change resulting in improved self-esteem and happiness.

3. Start a gratitude journal. Write down all the things in life for which you are grateful for and why.  Set aside time each day to read it and add to it regularly. This helps with developing a healthy perspective about life.  

4. Consider psychotherapy to examine and explore underlying issues contributing to your feelings of inadequacy that prevent you from enjoying what you already have.

Chat with Dr. Paula Durlofsky

Do you struggle with feelings of inadequacy? Are you constantly craving more even when what you have is more than enough?  I would like to hear from you. Please comment below or email me at drpauladurlofsky@gmail.com.

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About This Blog

Dr. Paula Durlofsky is a psychologist in private practice in Bryn Mawr, whose practice focuses on psychological issues affecting individuals, couples, and families.

Dr. Durlofsky treats a wide variety of disorders and has a special interest in issues affecting women. She is affiliated with Bryn Mawr Hospital, Lankenau Hospital, the Women's Resource Center in Wayne, and the Psychoanalytic Center of Philadelphia. In addition to her practice, Dr. Durlofsky is a workshop facilitator and blogger. 

If you have questions or feedback for Dr. Durlofsky, please don't hesitate to reach out to her via email at drpauladurlofsky@gmail.com.

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