Leading Me Down the Garden Path


It’s not every day that I come home to find 30 people lying in wait for me. But it’s not every day that I have a bridal shower.
A tornado of family and friends rearranged my furniture, commandeered my kitchen, and transformed my dining room into a tea party garden. Type A that I am, my first thought could have been that my house was in no way clean enough to have one friend over, much less everyone I knew. (Dust bunnies and clutter and friends! Oh God!)
But to be honest, I was too delighted to care about my typical Type A concerns. After being on the throwing end of bridal and baby showers for many years, it was great to be the guest of honor. The shower had a garden theme with high tea-style finger foods, desserts, beverages, and flowers. My sister really knows how to plan a party. 
Of course I knew something was up. I was a bride-to-be and brides-to-be get showers sooner or later. But in my own house? Didn’t see that one coming—it was kind of brilliant. There I was, minding my own business, and then WHAM! Confirmation that everyone I know had been lying to me for months on end. And that’s fine because they brought along little tea sandwiches and presents.
And then there was Glenn. My husband-to-be was the biggest bald-faced liar of them all. Day in and day out, right to my face. I am definitely going to have to start paying more attention to what he says from now on. 
As always, being the center of the bridal maelstrom is a learning experience. Here is some shower wisdom from my time spent on both sides of the bow hat:
Go with the flow. Don’t ask a lot of questions and do what you’re told, no matter how illogical it might seem at the time. Also make sure you are dressed nicely at all times because you never know when a shower could erupt.
Pay no attention to the people behind the curtain. Let them shoo you out of the kitchen and brush aside your offers to help. You will never be allowed to opt out of helping set up and clean up ever again. Make the most of it and go mingle.
Spare yourself the drama. A group of women living in different states just put together a party. Please. Of course there was drama. But you don’t need to know the details or where the bodies are buried. Don’t ask, and hopefully no one will tell you. Just enjoy the day and your fond memories of it. 
Acknowledge the universal truths about bow hats. Yes, you have to have one and yes you have to wear it while everyone you know takes pictures and laughs. An apparently lesser-known truth is that all bows must come from the shower presents. Bows from other sources are not allowed. To do otherwise would be akin to allowing professional athletes to compete in the Olympics. It may be done, but it’s just plain wrong.
And finally, ignore any nagging thoughts that wake you up at 3 a.m. about dust bunnies, drama, the wrong outfit, etc. Go back to sleep because you need all the rest you can get. If you just had a bridal shower, that means the wedding is right around the corner.


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