So far, some of the wedding planning has been fun and some has been a chore. But only one task has made me kind of sad.
I had no idea who was going to conduct the ceremony.
Sure, a justice of the peace would be easy enough to find. But I really wanted a clergy person to perform the ceremony. I felt something important would be missing from the day otherwise. My fiancé felt the same way, though to a lesser extent. We didn’t want to start off our marriage with a regret.
Neither of us currently belongs to a church, although religion was part of both of our upbringings once upon a time. So that’s where the sad part comes in. We didn’t know any clergy. No kindly priest who has known us from childhood, no reverend who has been a friend of the family for years, not even a rabbi who lives down the street.
There was the Internet, of course. Clergy of all stripes can be found online to conduct weddings for the churchless. But it felt disconcerting to use the same search process to find a religious figure that I used to select a DJ. Also, I’m sure people like Reverend Bob are as cordial and caring as they appear in their photos, but I’d worry that at some point during the ceremony he would look at one of us and say, “And do you…what was your name again?”
Another option was to create our own personal clergy. Just do a little Googling and you can “get ordained now!” and “click here to start the ordination process.” But having a family member or friend conduct the ceremony could be heartwarming, hilarious, horrifying, or some unexpected combination thereof. Like I don’t already have enough worms to worry about stuffing back into their can.
And, considering how marriage license rules vary from state to state, and even county to county, who has the time or mental energy to figure out what’s legal and where? I’d sooner take my chances with Reverend Dave…I mean Bob.
Since I really didn’t like my options, I stalled for time and divine intervention.
So, I was reciting my wedding planning progress in the bride’s confessional—girls’ night out. (Bless me girlfriends, for I have sinned. It has been 37 hours since I did anything related to my wedding.) When I got to the part where I had no clue where to rustle up a minister, my friend Jessica casually mentioned she knew someone who might be able to help.
A friend of a friend! It was the Holy Grail of recommendations as far as I was concerned. I’m not entirely sure why having a personal connection, however tenuous, was so important to me, but it was.
As it turned out, my fiancé and I both liked the minister, who has a very warm and open personality, and has us scheduled to meet with her several times before the wedding. She seems unlikely to have a brain freeze over our names.
Cue the choir of angels.