Dear Diary: The cards and letters congratulating Joe on becoming vice president just keep coming in. He’s heard from Letterman, Conan, Jimmy Kimmel and Jon Stewart. Leno even sent balloons and a candygram! They all wish Joe the best and are already hoping for a second term. Joe says he’s been really touched by the outpouring.
It would be nice hearing from the Obamas once in a while, but I understand that when you’re just getting to know Joe, sometimes less can be more. Joe will be the first to tell you, “I can be a long drink of water, you know.”
I think that’s what President Obama was getting at when he remarked at his news conference Monday that he wasn’t surprised he didn’t know what Joe was referring to when Joe had made that remark about getting everything right and still have a 30 percent chance they’d get it wrong. I wanted to yell at the TV, “Welcome to my world, Mr. President.” But this is why I think Joe is going to do so well in the Middle East. The more incomprehensible you are, the more they seem to like you over there.
At least Barack laughed it off this time. Not like when Joe made that little aside at the staff swearing-in ceremony about Justice Roberts goofing up the oath of office. That turned out to be Joe’s first trip to Barack’s woodshed. Joe said later, “I didn’t even know Barack had a woodshed. But I suppose from here on in, my footprints will be the most frequent ones beating a path to it.”
I told Joe that, personally, I still think Hillary will be the one blazing that trail, but we’ll see.
One thing the country can know for sure by now, though. They will never have to worry about any secret taping system revealing any of Joe’s embarrassing conversations. Whatever Joe says that’s embarrassing, he says right out in public.
And it appears Joe is getting acclimated to the new house here at the Naval Observatory. I noticed how he told that interviewer he wanted to throw all those financial executives “into the brig.” Cute.
Joe got back from Munich the other day brimming with excitement. He said he had a good time sightseeing, and asked a lot of questions on the bus. (Dear Lord.) He told me the tour guide told him at one point that he reminded her of Bavarian King Ludwig II, who built all the wonderful castles throughout southern Germany. Joe told her he only ever wanted to be president, not king. I didn’t have the heart to tell him that most Germans think King Ludwig was nuts.
Ted called to complain a bit how he had wanted to carve his initials in Joe’s old Senate desk like all the others had done. He said when he opened the desk he couldn’t find any place left to carve. Seems that when Joe carved his in 36 years ago, he used up all the rest of the wood carving “President Joe Biden” over and over again. When I mentioned it to Joe, he just laughed it off and said, “That’s nothing. You want to know how many times you-know-who carved ‘President Hillary Clinton’ into her desk?”
Well, no, I don’t, anymore than I want to know why her husband was so fascinated by the rug in the oval office the last time he was there.
Anyway, I have to try and sneak in a power nap sometime today. Joe said when he gets home this evening he wants to tell me all about the Glockenspiel he saw in Munich. I know Joe when it comes to talking about anything having to do with time. Sounds like a long night…more than just a 30 percent chance of it, too.