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New iPhones to Include Encryption

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A new generation of powerful iPhones, believed to have been developed in response to abrupt cultural demand, is reported to come equipped with the capacity to encode messages in order to better secure their secret transmission and storage, according to the cellular technology magazine Braincancer.
 
“The phones will encrypt incoming text and voice messages to hide their true content prior to the saving and storage of those messages,” wrote the report’s author, Ed Rhoidlich. “The encryption takes potentially incriminating messages and converts them to the kinds of everyday communications most of us are accustomed.”
 
According to the article, a text message, such as “I’m going to wear you out,” becomes, “That was a great putt you made on 16,” prior to that text being saved. Incriminating names associated with the original text can also be disguised from a database purchased separately as part of the service package. In the case of the message above, the sender can substitute “Jack” or “Arnie” for the “sent to” address in place of the actual “Desireé” or “Brandee.”
 
According to Rhoidlich, users may purchase from several encryption packages depending on profession and degree of public limelight.
 
“In addition to the “Sports Celebrity Package,” there are also packages tailored to suit the needs of corporate CEOs as well as state and federal politicians,” he reports.
 
Corporate encryption packages, for instance, will change a text message such as “Hide these additional revenues in the Cayman Islands,” to “Thank you for the much needed bailout funds. We plan to use them for the good of the country.” And the Politics package includes coding that will change and store a lobbyist-directed text such as “Thanks for the Super Bowl tickets” or “I’ll need that deck on my beach house finished by Memorial Day,” to either “Sorry, but I have to represent the people in my district this time,” or “Nice running into you at the state fair last weekend.”
 
Rhoidlich has also reported that CEOs and politicians may purchase a Combo Pack that includes the Sports Celebrity Package at a special discount. The Combo Pack contains additional cross-referencing encryption to handle both illicit business and pleasure via the same phone.
 
“For example, a politician writing, ‘Last weekend in Buenos Aires was pure bliss,’ would be encrypted as, ‘You are correct, sir. The Appalachian Trail does begin in Georgia. Thank you for your inquiry,’” Rhoidlich says. “The name of the sender will change from, say, ‘Evita’ or ‘Maria’ to ‘Park Ranger’ before storing into memory.”
 
Braincanceris also reporting separately that a Super Star/Super Stud Sports Celebrity package with encryption capability for up to 20,000 names and text messages is currently being rushed into production in time for the peak of the NBA season.
 
The Super package has the capability to code very large scale (VLS) volumes of trysts, as well as the most common first names for all North American cocktail waitresses based in professional basketball towns.
 
Another specialty encryption package, this one targeted for Major League Baseball (though there is apparently some rushed, current talk to include professional golf’s PGA Tour) specifically targets and encrypts messages containing medical terms such as “injection” and “syringe,” and converting them to less incriminating terms, such as “autograph” and “charity appearance.”
 
 
 
 
 

 

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