Palin in Odd Criticism of Miss USA Contestant

In a criticism that has stunned and confused her supporters, Alaska Governor Sarah Palin issued a statement criticizing remarks of a Miss USA contestant who defended marriage as between a man and a woman.

During an onstage Q and A, Miss California, Carrie Prejean, told an openly gay judge that she believed “marriage was between a man and a woman.” She later lost the Miss USA crown, partly it is believed due to her response on gay marriage.

In Governor Palin’s statement, she stated, “that it is my firm belief that beauty queen responses to social and political questions should be limited to political campaigns and not beauty contests.”

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Palin’s supporters, accustomed to being dazed and confused by their candidate’s responses to even simple interview questions, were particularly stumped by this one.
“Why would she criticize someone who holds the very same views on marriage as herself?” asked a woman wearing a “Barefoot, Pregnant and Proud” button.

The answer may lie near the end of Palin’s statement, a segment of her statements typically overlooked by audiences and reporters because they’ve usually become lost in a maze of cliché, circuitous logic and plain balderdash by then.

At the end of her statement, Palin says, “How would Miss California like it if I decided to strap on a bathing suit and a Miss Alaska sash and recite some of my killer stump speeches. She wouldn’t stand a chance.”

Palin’s aides were quick to reassure curious reporters that the governor had “absolutely no intention on strapping on a bathing suit for anyone now or in the foreseeable future. Do you all have any idea how cold it still is in Alaska? Can you imagine what Governor Palin would look like in a bathing suit at the moment?”

A few male reporters were observed to have fallen completely silent and dropped their pencils at such a wintertime image.

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“It is Miss Alaska’s—I mean Governor Palin’s consistent position that she is the only candidate of beauty queen politics, and is unwilling to share either a stage or a runway with overly made up imitations.”

When asked about Governor Palin campaigning in a bathing suit, former presidential candidate John McCain said, “There are many fine Republicans who could campaign in bathing suits,” he said. “Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney, Minnesota Governor Tim Pawlenty and Louisiana’s Bobby Jindal could all pull it off, I believe.” McCain paused, smiled and then added, “I know I’m probably leaving someone out of that list and I’ll probably hear about it later.”

Officials of the Miss USA pageant issued a brief statement saying there are no plans to develop a Miss Cougar USA beauty contest with Governor Palin as the odds-on favorite.

Aides to Governor Plain confirm the governor has not heard anything about a Miss Cougar USA pageant. Asked whether the governor would participate if one were held, the aide thought for a moment and then said, “Well, if it got the governor out of Alaska for a time, I’m sure she’d consider it.”


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