Type to search

Palin Missile may deter North Korea

Share

A note believed to be sent from a high ranking North Korean official is being studied by the Obama Administration as a potential offer to discuss the future of North Korea’s missile program.

According to a White House aide, the note refers to Alaska Governor Sarah Palin’s recent request for stimulus money to purchase a missile launch facility to be operated by an agency of the Alaskan government.

“Are you really considering giving a missile to that girl from Alaska?” the note is said to read. The note, translated from Korean, was communicated to the United States via the Chinese, who had put the note in a fortune cookie and delivered it as part of a White House late-night take-out order, according to the aide, who spoke on condition of receiving an additional handful of duck sauce packets.

Some administration officials suggest the note contains more than a hint of anxiety at the prospect of the outspoken Alaskan governor one day possessing her own rocket. It is known that Korean television had broadcast the famous Thanksgiving interview with Palin that was conducted while live turkeys were being slaughtered behind her as she spoke.

“Seeing Governor Palin batting her eyelashes at the camera, while not batting an eye at the bloody carnage going on right behind her probably reminded many Koreans of their own leader,” one administration official said. “They may be thinking that if the U.S. has a leader as off her rocker as Kim Jong-il, then it may be time for the two nations to sit down and talk about disarmament.”

Analysts interpret potential Korean fear of a Palin Missile could be just the stick the Obama administration needs to re-establish an image of strength, especially following what those analysts refer to as “Obama’s recent ‘I’d Like to Buy the World a Coke’ tour of Great Britain and Europe.”

Palin, an avid hunter, is said to have privately told aides that having her own rocket would be as “cool a feeling as having a 30.06 slung over your shoulder during elk season.”

But several administration officials have privately said putting a loaded missile in the hands of a potential presidential opponent who is also a card carrying NRA member is more than a little unsettling. “Although, it would probably put the fear of the Almighty in the minds of the North Koreans,” that official opined with a low whistle.

But the clincher may be the last sentence in the fortune cookie note, which the Administration says amounts to a veritable Pumpkin Papers revelation of North Korea’s mounting fears.

“We can see Sarah Palin’s house from Pyonyang!” the note exclaimed in closing.

“Now, imagine what that view would look like with a silo sticking out of her backyard,” the official said, whistling softly again.

 

Stay up-to-date with our free email newsletter

Keep a pulse on local food, art, and entertainment content when you join our Delaware Today Newsletter.

No thank you