Announcement of a discovery that ties human civilization to the Triassic Period, the so-called beginning of the Age of Dinosaurs, has stunned earth scientists and threatens the very foundations of the field of paleontology.
The scroll purportedly is believed to be the minutes from a meeting of a group of these previously unknown ancestors of modern man, a group apparently involved in some kind of environmental activism during the incipient stages of the Age of Dinosaurs.
“The group seemed to be deeply concerned about the existence of all dinosaurs, but had specifically targeted carnivores for their most concerted preservation efforts,” said renowned paleontologist Dr. Bennett Cerf of the University of California-Berkeley’s School of Really Big Things.
Cerf says the scroll moves mankind millions of years backward—230 million years backward.
“It means man and dinosaur co-existed,” Cerf said. “Is that cool or what?”
According to the material already translated from the scroll, this early group was seriously concerned about the continued existence of large dinosaurs that were being hunted for nothing more than their skeletons.
“The killing of dinosaurs for the purpose of selling off parts of their skeletal remains must stop!” the scroll reads in part.
The group believed that carnivores were being particularly singled out for their large teeth as well as their bones.
“Tyrannosaurus Rex must not be allowed to disappear from our midst,” the scroll read in another section. “He is truly the King of the Forest, and a most regal example of the work of nature.”
The scientific community remains baffled by the scroll.
“How could Triassic Man (as the community is currently referring to him) possess the ability to write, form committees and tackle agendas?” mused Cerf.
Page 2: What does the discovery of the scroll mean?
Most importantly, perhaps, is what the discovery of the scroll means for those who believe in the gradual evolutionary process of man’s development.
“How can you go from sophisticated environmental activism all the way ahead to a time when he had to learn to walk upright all over again?” asked Cerf. “And what about the record? Man is evidently thriving in the Triassic period, and then all other records and evidence—not even a pinky bone—are wiped clean until Lucy?” (Lucy is the name given to A. Afarensis, a hobbit-like hominid previously believed to be modern man’s nearest ancestor dating back only 3.6 million years.)
Cerf said the scroll ends abruptly. “It seems the group had planned an action to prevent poachers from attacking a family of tyrannosaurs,” he said.
“They seemed determined to stake out a perimeter near the tyrannosaurs and beat back any and all poachers who tried to invade,” Cerf said. “And that’s the end of it. The scroll talks about their arrival at the reptile site around dusk. They set up camp, built a fire and waited for nightfall. The scroll ends there.”
Cerf now believes that the scroll proves that early man was not only sophisticated, but had a deep feeling for nature and the planet.
“You have to admire their zeal,” he said, “especially when you consider even an adolescent tyrannosaur could swallow a large man whole, hair, bones and all in one gulp.”
Cerf praised the group of environmentalists though for their apparent success.
“As we all know now, the dinosaurs were not only saved from extinction by poachers, but went on to thrive for the next 230 million years,” he said.
Cerf said he plans to devote the rest of his life to discovering what may have happened to this most startling prehistoric civilization.
“I have to know how such a warm and caring people could just disappear like that. Was it a war, climate change or a cataclysmic event like a comet or meteor? There’s so much I believe we could learn from them, if we can just find out what happened.”
