It seemed like things were going so well, and Toni Hickman was worried.
Hickman had found it difficult to find a good social outlet for her daughter Tanner. The Wilmington girl enjoys being around others. She’s also on the autism spectrum and has challenges at times with social interactions.
“She’s super friendly and is nice to everybody,” Hickman says, “and would get some pretty negative feedback, and it was kind of shocking to her. She didn’t quite know what to do with it.”
They bounced around trying this and that—soccer, a summer art club, the Girl Scouts—and each time, Tanner struggled to adapt to the expectations and structure.
One idea they tried might have seemed the most unlikely of all. Tanner watched all the Mighty Ducks movies and decided she wanted to play hockey.
In addition to her social challenges, Tanner has hypermobility, meaning her joints are very flexible. For some athletes, this can be an advantage—think gymnasts—but Tanner also has some motor issues. This combination, her mom notes, “can make sports almost impossible.”
While they were at the library one day, Hickman saw a flyer with information about the Delaware Sharks Field Hockey Club. The Sharks are an organization in northern Delaware that promotes the sport through recreational play and travel teams.
Tanner wanted to give it a shot.
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Tryouts were crowded, chaotic and loud, not conditions Tanner, who has sensitive hearing, thrives in. But, Hickman recalls, “she had a dead serious look on her face the whole time,” and she stuck it out for the entire two hours.
Afterward, Tanner reported, “I loved it. I can’t wait to come back.” Her mother was stunned.
A clinical psychologist, Hickman is open about her daughter’s challenges with autism, and Tanner is too, although she gets frustrated by the difficulties. So Hickman eventually approached the coaches to talk to them about some of Tanner’s behavior, like disagreements with refs and the coaches, emotional outbursts, and a bluntness that sometimes doesn’t go over well.
Unlike some of their previous experiences, though, the coaches were completely understanding.
Maia Lee, whose mother Laura helped found the Delaware Sharks in 2000, has been involved in field hockey most of her life. Lee coaches travel teams and helps run the recreational programs.
“We’re so grateful for this club just because of the level of support…they value her and that means a lot to me.”
Tanner plays both recreational field hockey and travel ball with an indoor team, and Lee describes her as “a lovely kid.”
“Tanner has blossomed really quickly,” she says. “She has a lot of strengths that other kids do not have.” It’s unusual for younger children to help teach skills, Lee says, but Tanner almost immediately started helping her teammates learn. Tanner is very smart, picks up skills quickly and adapts well to different circumstances, Lee says.
“They were very patient,” Hickman says. She thinks that often people running kids’ programs are not prepared for children whose brains work differently, and parents may give up trying to find a place for their child.
Almost all the coaches at the Delaware Sharks are clinicians or educators in their day jobs, Lee says, and kids of all abilities and different learning styles come to play. The coaches adapt their approach to the individual children and work with them on how to communicate in healthy ways.
“I’ve grown with people skills,” Tanner says, and she’s doing better at controlling her emotions.
Her take on field hockey is straightforward: “I’ve gained friends from field hockey…I enjoy the coaches, I really like the game and it’s fun to play.”
“We’re so grateful for this club just because of the level of support…they value her, and that means a lot to me,” Hickman says.
Learn more about Delaware Sharks Field Hockey Club
Age Range: 3 through eighth grade
Signup: kirkwoodsports.org/recfieldhockey
More information about the Delaware Sharks: delawaresharks.teamsnapsites.com
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