Congratulations, mom and dad! Your youngest is about to embark on an exciting life adventure, striking out on their own to attend college, start a new job, or get married. You’re justifiably proud, but you might be feeling a host of other emotions too.
“Watching a child leave home is certainly a transition for many parents, one that can result in feelings of ambivalence and a mix of emotions,” says Jennifer Shroff Pendley, Ph.D., a psychologist in Greenville. “[This can] include joyful anticipation and excitement as well as sadness, feeling of loss, loss of purpose, loneliness, and anxiety.”
To allay these emotions, Pendley advises parents to focus on the gains for their child and themselves in addition to coping with the loss that comes with this normal life transition.
“After going through the teens with its eye-rolling responses to inevitable day-to-day conflicts with parents, accepting that your child is maturing into a young adult may actually deepen the relationship,” she says. “Cellphones have made it easier than ever to keep in touch with calls and texts—as long as you don’t overdo it.”
Some families, she mentions, set up check-ins one night a week to manage communications expectations of both parents and children.
Stay-at-home parents might be hit hardest with feelings of loss and disorientation because their daily schedules are likely impacted more by the child leaving. Pendley suggests that parents explore new hobbies, expand their social circle, and, if they have a partner, focus on making that relationship stronger.
“It’s totally normal to experience the three stages of emotions—grief, relief, joy,” she says. “Grief can accompany the closing of one chapter and the opening of a new one, but if you get stuck in this stage, I advise getting some help. …Relief is the realization that you did it, you launched your child out in the world, and they are OK.”
Finally, there comes the sense of joy of seeing your child with a whole world of opportunities ahead of them, leaving you free to enjoy new and exciting experiences in your own life.
Related: Download This Mindfulness App by a Delaware Meditation Teacher
