Thirty Seconds with Ebenezer Scrooge

We caught up with Scrooge while he was in the First State working as a consultant on local productions of “A Christmas Carol.” Predictably, the miserable miser wouldn’t give us much time.

DT: Good afternoon, Mr. Scrooge.
ES: Bah, humbug!

DT: I thought that after you saw your tombstone, you stopped being a jerk.
ES: That didn’t last very long. You see, after my epiphany, I wound up paying Bob Cratchit so well that he performed a hostile takeover of my company and laid me off. With the economy being the way it is, I had to travel to the states to find work as a consultant. If you were 169 years old and unable to retire, you’d be a little grumpy, too.

DT: At least you were able to find work.
ES: Yeah, but I’m working like the dickens.

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DT: How does it feel knowing that your name is used to describe those who are miserly and mean?
ES: Actually, I think that’s pretty nifty. I’m famous.

DT: Big plans for the holidays?
ES: I’m going to order a Bobbie from Capriotti’s and watch “A Christmas Carol” marathon on A&E. I can’t get enough of me.

DT: Of the many retellings of “A Christmas Carol,” which actor best portrayed you?
ES: Well, that Bill Murray was pretty good in “Scrooged.” Man, was he mean. I loved George C. Scott and those pork chop sideburns. But my all-time favorite is Alastair Sim.

DT: Do you recommend any local productions?
ES: Well, the two I worked on as a consultant is a good place to start. Delaware Theatre Company is doing a world premiere adaptation this month. And Clear Space Theatre Company is presenting an interesting musical version.

DT: Time for one more?
ES: No. I have to get back to my work as a Salvation Army bell ringer. It’s a great way to pick up pocket change. —Drew Ostroski

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